


Ancient Era - Development and Diplomacy according to Cavemen

by SectorDweller



Category: Civ 5 - Fandom, Civilization (Video Games)
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-03-26 03:25:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13849089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SectorDweller/pseuds/SectorDweller
Summary: A civilization gets founded. God help us all.





	1. The Forest

~~Year be 4000~~

~~4000 years be in time but~~

~~Time be 4000 long times if year called something else when this read~~

It be 4000 in years. Year is time when time last big. Every year be same big. It year.

Time is before too. There people in time before but they no count in years. They dumb.  
They ancestors, they good, they thanked, they great people! But we smart and they dumb. And they no write what happen. We now write what know.

Now not 4000 in years. ~~Now be bigger in time~~ Now time pass in time. _Then_ year 4000. It year.

4000.

 

Two women come. One wear soft clothes in red. She say things but we no understand.

She put things on ground. Leaves, branches, rock, water. She build something in middle. Little house with little leaves and twigs.

We understand! She say we build things! It advisor. When thing break, we fix. She show teeth and smile.

Other woman wear shiny clothes. She talk like woman in soft clothes. They should learn speak. She walk with us everywhere. When she walk, we follow. When she return, we follow. We come to place where first woman build little things. She draw where we had walk. She want us walk more and see things!

 

Why advisors always talk from above and from side? And they want us walk more or build things? It confuse. We do both.

**THEN!!!** Man appear! OUT OF NOWHERE! O!! He startle us! Women prettier. He have pretty black skin but women prettier. Because women. He have strange thing on eyes. We poke at strange thing. What he says we no understand. It advisor too. We poke more.

 

Here big forest and big water. Forest smell funny. We live here.

Water smell less funny. It big! It far as the eye can see! We call it See. It East.

…

East be thing that do not see. It far over See. If in forest and look at See, see East. It East.

West same thing like East but it West. Woman in red like part of forest in West. It have things that make her clothes. Forest very big to West. Have longest river in world!  
It West. If confused, look river.

Not West and not East, there path through forest. Path smell funny. This where smell come from. Path point North. It North.

Animals live in forest with us. Animals short and peaceful and their horns tall and pretty! Far, far behind animals, tall mountain! Biggest mountain in world!! It South.

 

Top of mountain too cold, bottom of mountain have rock. Only little land and See, on little land is little village.

People there make strange thing from wood to take fish from See. They show us wood thing. Thing not only get fish, it hurl little wood! It shoot far! They give us thing! They say it “boe.”

Then another man come. Man have beard – our men have beard too. Beard good for cold mountain and to gather smell.

He show us thing with boe. It fourth advisor. We shoot thing and it go far and far! We happy!

 

We love place. We love live here. Have big things, smell nice. When walk, come back - smell nice. When in town make thing from rock and wood - smell nice.

Smell self not good. Smell forest.

Write thing. Discover through write. Hope reading understand to share with friends. Hope future understand to discover through read.  
You see back in time! We see in time too! It fun. Write more.


	2. Outside the Forest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new civilization meets its neighbors. It's not sure what to expect from them. Neither are they.

Peopling.

It when someone peoples with people.

When peopling, need other people to people with.  
Peopling solve things.  
When cheer up together. When learn together. When see things differently together. When confused and look at things together.  
When just sit together. It peopling.

We not sure what peopling really. Maybe more peopling answer. Only peopling among us so far. Woman in purple and shiny clothes say that it good. Meet new people, see new things.

In town, build thing from rock. Go out, stretch legs. Find people and they find us.

 

North-West. It pond with people. It North-West. Or ~~Northwest?~~ northwest.  
Plains – it North. Or north?  
If people with big lake in North, then it North. If go to lake, then go ~~N~~ north.  
Coast of See go ~~N~~ north, then go east. It in North and ~~e~~ East. ~~Point. Show. You not see in read but it there. Between north and east. It no letters.~~

 

Try again.

 

\- Crazy people by pond:

It Northwest. Across greatest river in world, very pretty pond! It has hill with shiny rock with colors. Big brown animals with no horns.

Two groups of people near. One live in town. Wave hands when speak and always frustrated. It culture.

When we do something, they frustrated. When we do nothing, they frustrated. We not sure why. Give us yellow coin. We move on, they happy.

Other group not live in town. They grunt. Live near shiny hill. Advisor with thing on head say things about them.

He worried. We pat him on head. He silly. We wave and scream back! They wave with axes and scream! We wave with axes back! We charge and scream! **Peopling!!!**

We run back. These people scary. Warn our village.

 

\- Crazy people by See:

It north.

They have strange and big fish. Have big animals with no horns too. It called “horse.” And they have animals with horns too! Same as we! THEY BRETHERIN!!!

But they same like people in other village. They wave hands, we try wave hands too, they annoyed. They give us yellow coins, we go away. They happy.

 

\- The _other_ crazy people by See:

It northeast. Discover village behind last village of crazy people. They no wave hands around. They do other things with hands. Very calm thing. Doing same thing is interesting. They have big fish too, but they not crazy.  
Not so crazy in town. People outside town – they scream.

 

It all nearby people. There more people. Peopling more with them.

 

**People of Lake**

We find! It North! Man with pointy hat sit on chair. He wear same soft clothes. And he not crazy!! FINALLY! BROTHERS!!! They have big water, but we have biggest water in world!

They have sheep – soft, but our clothes soft too.

Lady in red say once to trade soft clothes for shiny coin. Maybe we give them soft clothes. Then we more brothers!

They have hill with shiny things in colors. Shiny like hill near pond. Hope they not become crazy like other people with shiny things.

 

**People of Salt and Sand**

People with no weapons come to village. They from West.

Longest river in world go west, then through big mountain (biggest mountain in world is not so big anymore), then to them. Lots of sand and salt. We hope they not get scared by people who scream.

 

**People of pointy sticks**

From ~~nN~~ northwest, more people without weapons come to village. (Yes, no pointy sticks. Explain later.)

They ask why we come.

Why they ask why we come? They come, not we! They just behind crazy people. We should go to their village and then ask why they come. Peopling.

 

**People of See near soft clothes who cannot reach soft clothes  
**

Northeast, we see soft clothes, then meet village near soft clothes! If they get soft clothes, they wear them, make them happy. But they say they don’t want move to soft clothes. They no move. They happy where they are. Is so much problem to move? But we understand. We happy where we are too.

 

We hear of other people too, but they not near. **People in purple who sit on chair,** (Why so many people sit on chair? Maybe we should sit too.) and **People who scout and sit on rock**. (Why they sit on rock and not chair? Maybe we should send rock.)

There another way to see how many people. Someone write about what people have how many pointy sticks.  
Yes, someone meet everyone and count sticks. Big man, work hard. List long.  
And who have most pointy sticks? The people of pointy sticks. That why name of people of pointy sticks.

In town, still build thing of rock. Screaming people come near town. We wait, they still scream. Bad peopling. We fling rock. Maybe they quiet down.


	3. Settling the Forest

It forest. Screaming people visit a lot. People who not scream visit less. Then, people who not scream not visit anymore. Even people of Lake stop visiting.

Before, people of Lake send people who write to us, but ask for coin. We object. If they send people who write, then we send people who write too. Not pay in coin, exchange learn! Well, when we learn write.

Point – they stop visit too. Only screaming people.

In West where people who scream, it actually.. nice. Have big river by sea. Bath in sea, draw things in sand like draw by See, then bath in river. If settle – animals far, Rock Mountain far, sparkly hill far. But we can reach! We mighty! In time when time pass, we reach! We settle new town!

We chase screaming people away. Too much risk. Settlers not like being screamed at. Maybe should have let screaming people be. Maybe they start to scream less? Now never know.

Still, no one come visit.

Except people of Salt and Sand. They say we settle too near them. We not even know where ~~they... it!~~ where they. Maybe they wanted to reach too.  
What is problem? We neighbors! We not settle near them anymore. They have salt. Salt is dumb, taste like water from See.

It then. We learn write in 1920. From then, we write! Some of us write. WE send write people to other people who write. We now write too! This how we write everything here! ~~Scribe, you write all that?~~

Yes. We count years backwards. It fun.

**Author's Note:**

> The forest has silk and incense. 
> 
> First attempt at fanfic. Also, first attempt at writing this way. Clarity for the ancient era may vary. :P


End file.
